Being a foster parent is a tough job," says Lou Graham, director of foster care for the Children's Bureau of Southern California. That's one reason that the number of foster parents is shrinking, while the number of children in need of foster care is growing.

But something as simple as a foster-parent support group can be the key to keeping foster parents on the job, says Mary Fink, a foster mother for the past 14 years in the Antelope Valley area of Los Angeles. For the first eight years she received children directly from the Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services. In 1992 she joined the foster-parent network of the nonprofit Children's Bureau of Southern California, which places foster children referred by the county and provides ongoing training and support for foster parents.

Children's Bureau of Southern California, which developed one of the first private foster-care programs in the nation, now runs one of many nonprofit foster-family agencies in the state. To fund the $4-million-a-year program, it relies on foundation, corporate, and individual donations.

Fink says before she joined the Children's Bureau program, the support she received from the county foster-care agency left a lot to be desired. Caseworkers were overloaded and unable to make frequent visits. But now, she says, "I couldn't be happier. I have 24-hour phone numbers all the way up to the big boss." The program sends a caseworker once a week for at least the first six months, and "You can go to them and say, 'do you know what would make this better?' and they will come back to you. I know that somebody heard me and they actually listened to me."

Fink especially prizes the support she receives from other foster parents. The bureau organizes monthly meetings where parents share common concerns and help each other solve problems. Caseworkers attend the meetings, but Fink says, "We talk, and they listen. Normally we work it out among ourselves and then ask [the caseworker] 'what would you do?'" The bureau trains parents to take on leadership roles, and Fink often counsels others on tough issues like how to improve relationships with birth parents.

Recruiting through churches

The Children's Bureau doesn't just support foster parents—it actively recruits more through its ChildSHARE program, which makes presentations to church groups. Individual families are encouraged to give foster parenting a try and the whole congregation is asked to get involved by offering respite care, furniture, emotional support, and so on.

Bev Lucia's family became involved in foster parenting more than 10 years ago after a ChildSHARE presentation. Since then she has fostered about 25 children, all with special needs, five of whom she ended up adopting. "ChildSHARE really brings families together," says Lucia. Our best friends are all people from the group. We are like extended family to each other."

Her support group, organized with the help of the Children's Bureau, also hosts guest speakers; those sessions count toward the 15 hours of training foster parents are required to have each year. Recent speakers have included pediatricians, developmental specialists, and children's attorneys.

"ChildSHARE families are long-lasting foster parents," Lucia says. "They don't burn out like families with no support groups and no one to turn to."

Do-it-yourself

Parents do not need to be affiliated with nonprofit agencies to get much-needed support, however. Some county foster-care agencies sponsor their own support groups. And an organization of foster parents themselves, the National Foster Parents Association, helps its members start local support groups and provides them with speakers and other resources.

Tina Hughes, North Coast regional vice president of the California Foster Parents Association, has been a foster parent in Alameda County for the past 19 years. More than 300 children have passed through her home on both emergency and long term bases.

Hughes says that in Alameda County there are around 800 foster parents, but only 163 of them are members of the association. But, she says, "The foster parent always needs an advocate" in dealing with the foster-care system. She also values the association's group trainings and the opportunity for getting together with other foster parents on an informal basis.

Alameda County Chapter Secretary Gerry Hauser likes being able to talk to other parents about issues that come up. The county provides a hot-line number to call in emergencies, but Hauser says that often there is nobody answering calls. In emergencies, foster parents rely on an informal network of seasoned foster parents who meet each other through the Foster Parent Association.

Hughes says that the support offered by the group is crucial to a successful placement. "It is a learning process, a sharing process," she says. "Being involved with the association has enhanced my ability to keep going as a foster parent without getting burned out."

Hughes' positive experience seems to be encouraging others to follow her example. She was the first in her family to take children into her home. Now her brother and his wife, both her two children, three cousins, and two nieces have all followed her lead, as well as family members in other states. Her motto? "There is always room for one more."

Foster parents lobby for improvements

The National Foster Parents Association also has a lobbying branch which works towards improving conditions for foster parents. Some of the issues:

• REIMBURSEMENT: Sandra Boelter, president of the California association, reports that before the recent 6 percent raise, reimbursements covered only 50 percent of the cost of caring for a child. Even with the raise, the fee falls far short of covering the whole cost.
  
  
• GREATER NEED FOR RESPITE: Jerry Currey, national vice president, says that children entering the system have more problems now than they did ten years ago, for many reasons including prenatal drug exposure. Counties offer some respite care, but many stressed foster parents need more.
  
  
• MENTAL-HEALTH REPORT: Organizations such as Children's Bureau employ their own mental health workers so their families have easy access to this kind of support. But other foster families complain that the number of therapists willing to take Medi-Cal patients is dwindling—it can take months to get an appointment. Families sometimes find themselves caring for a more problematic child than they had expected, with no support. A new California law requires counties to do mental-health evaluations of all foster children if they have the resources, but Boelter says this program is moving slowly.
  
  
• CASEWORKER SUPPORT: Another common complaint is that caseworkers are responsible for so many families that they work from crisis to crisis rather than provide ongoing support. Money was allocated last year to lighten caseloads and help counties provide the legally required once-a- month family visit—but many foster parents say they need more.

If you are a foster parent or a relative caregiver looking for a support group in your area you should:

• contact your county social services or human services office (most counties keep a list of support groups in their area) or
  
  
• call the California State Foster Parents Association at (916) 221-6982.