Twenty-year-old Kathleen Scheible was working two jobs and going to college when a divorce left her with primary custody of her two-year-old son Chuck.

"It was very difficult getting over the breakup and living on a very tight budget while at the same time keeping up with my classes and managing my responsibilities as a parent," says Scheible, now 27. Still, she adds, "I knew that I had to keep things together because this was such an important time in Chuck's development."

Many parents, like Scheible, have heard that brain development during the first three years is important for a child's later success (see below: Recent research shows ...). And "brain development is not just about learning ABC's -- babies are also learning empathy and caring and how to be a person in the world," says Betty Cohen, executive director of BANANAS, a child care resource and referral center in Oakland.

But parents should not worry that they don't know enough or won't do the right things, Cohen adds. The most important thing they can do is to pay attention to babies, acknowledge their feelings, and make them feel safe and loved. "Connections are crucial," says Cohen, "whether you are talking to your baby or singing or just making eye contact -- looking back at them when they look at you."

Any parent or caregiver can nurture healthy brain development.

1. Slow down and sit down

Many new parents feel overwhelmed -- especially if there are other children in the house or if they're juggling jobs, housework, and kids. Babies pick up on the stress and lose out when parents are too busy to spend time cuddling.

"On days when I felt like collapsing after work, I would put my feet up on the couch -- but have the baby on my lap with my three-year-old sitting next to me," says Nina Urguby, a San Diego hospital dietary assistant. On the couch, says Urguby, a mother of five, she also read a lot of picture books to her children.

Other parents carry children close to them in a baby sling, giving them the comfort of physical contact while the parent does necessary tasks. And maybe not all the tasks are necessary. Sometimes dinner can be peanut butter sandwiches and cut-up apples so a parent and baby have more time playing, talking, or cuddling.

It also helps to get down your child's level -- literally. It's great for parents to take some time to sit down and play on the floor with their child, suggests Nancy Bunte de Carvalho, home visit supervisor at the Venice Family Clinic Early Head Start Clinic.

2. Talk to babies -- it helps them learn language

It's never too early to start talking to babies, whether you use full sentences or baby talk, advises JoEllen Tullis, director of child development at the Venice Family Clinic. "What infants get used to and are comforted by is the tone and rhythm of your voice," she says.

Talking to babies teaches them to use language for communication. "If a door slams and your child jumps, you can say something like "Oh, you heard that loud noise -- that was the door," adds Tullis.

3. Create learning opportunities out of routine tasks

Grocery shopping, meal time, even diaper time can create learning opportunities. "If you make a connection with the child during the care process," says Tullis, "they don't feel that it's something being done to them."

For example, if a child reaches for a milk bottle, you can respond and give them vocabulary words by saying, "Oh, you want milk now," suggests Bunte de Carvalho. Whatever the activity, follow their faces, she says, and respond out loud to their reactions.

4. Give babies opportunities to explore, not expensive toys

"Between the ages of 18 months and three years, what kids really want to do is dump and pour," says Pamela Worth, a mother of four and a parent educator at the Children's Health Council in Palo Alto. "I've entertained my toddlers by cutting out a square shape in the lid of a coffee can and having them put square blocks through the hole," she says.

You can help children practice problem-solving by presenting two toys and asking "Which do you want?"

5. Learn from nature

Outdoors, give kids a chance to observe plants, and animals. "Watching tree branches sway in the wind can provide more stimulation than a store-bought mobile," says Worth.

As a toddler, Chuck wanted to pet dogs he met, adds Scheible, but "sometimes the dog moved away. I'd explain that animals, like people, sometimes didn't want to be bothered."

And when Chuck turned three, Scheible joined a community garden. She recalls, "Chuck got very excited when he saw the plants begin to shoot up from the ground."

Recent research shows

• Babies' brains grow a lot in the first three years, when the baby's brain forms connections between brain cells -- pathways for future learning, feelings, and behavior
  
  
• The growth of babies' brain-cell connections depends a lot on their environment and experiences
  
  
• Brain-cell connections shape children's later ability to learn, move, relate to people, and handle their own feelings

Brain research shows babies need

• Nurturing, secure relationships
  
  
• Protection from too much stress, which can harm brain development
  
  
• Attention and care that responds to the baby's individual personality
  
  
• A stimulating learning environment with opportunities for exploring and problem-solving
  
  
• Lots of experience hearing and using language
  
  

Resources for Parents

In the community:

Many child care resource and referral agencies provide written parenting tips and information on parenting classes. For the resource and referral agency nearest you, call 800-543-7793. Also check libraries and adult education programs.

On the internet:

Building Your Baby's Brain: A Parent's Guide to the First Five Years, Teaching Strategies, Inc., available in English and Spanish. 800-637-3652.

Zero to Three offers parents a wealth of information on brain development at www.zerotothree.org, 202-638-1144.

Extra resources from the Children’s Advocate bulletin (updated 8-07)

• First 5 offers tip sheets for parents on a variety of topics, including early learning. In 10 languages, including English, Spanish, and Chinese.
  
  
• How Does Early Brain Development Research Impact You?, from Oregon's Child, has tips for parents about play, reading, talking, listening, and respect.
  
  
• Early Learning Tools, from Ready at Five, offers early learning tips and activity ideas. Includes resources for educators and communities.
  
  
• Supporting the Growth and Development of Babies in Child Care, from CLASP and Zero to Three, finds that secure relationships with parents and caregivers are key to children's healthy development. Includes state-level policy recommendations.

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