PDFs and tools

"An enormous loss"

Having a parent in prison creates many challenges for children

From January-February 2005 Issue
By Suzette Anderson

Lupe Galindo's most painful memory of growing up was not being able to touch her mother. "Her hugs were always my cushion, and not being able to get that really tore me to pieces," she says. Galindo was 10 years old when her mother, Nora Andrade, a domestic violence survivor, went to prison for killing her husband. Andrade says her daughter's love convinced her to fight for parole: "I decided I have to do this, if not for myself, then for her."

"Incarceration [of a parent] leaves an enormous loss in the life of a child," says Gretchen Newby, executive director of the advocacy group Friends Outside. The group advocates a more child-centered criminal justice system--because policies on prisoner placement, child custody, and visiting directly impact kids.

Lack of contact

In addition to the problems experienced by all children whose parents can't care for them, children of prisoners face special risks.

Andrade says visits from her daughter were rare after she was moved to a prison farther away--her family couldn't afford to make the journey often.

"No one has a right to tell a child they can't see their parent because they're in jail," says Yolanda Robinson of Northern California Services League. They see visiting as the child's right, not the parent's privilege. Nancy Rubenstein, secretary for the Inmate Family Council at Valley State Prison, says "kids who get disconnected from their parents in prison really struggle." Newby points out that "children of [prisoners] are six times more likely to go to prison or jail themselves."

Loss of custody

There is no statewide policy on how to handle children of prisoners. And a 2002 California Research Bureau report shows that "nearly two-thirds of local law enforcement agencies do not have a written policy" on dealing with kids when parents are arrested.

Janice Boler nearly lost custody of her son, who was placed in foster care when she was arrested. Convicted of fraud and sentenced to two years, she says, "I had 15 months to get him back. I was looking at losing my parental rights."

"If your sentence is too long, parental rights can be terminated," explains Cassie Pierson, staff attorney for Legal Services for Prisoners with Children (LSPC). According to a 1997 federal law, children should be freed for adoption if they've been in foster care for 15 of the last 22 months--or for six months if they're under three.

Connection and motivation

Advocates see visits as crucial in fostering the parent-child bond. Most kids aren't living with their parents at the time of arrest, and many feel anger or resentment toward the incarcerated parent, says Denise Johnston, executive director of the Center for Children of Incarcerated Parents. Still, she adds, most kids really want a relationship with that parent.

Dorsey Nunn, LSPC program director, admits he wasn't around his children before his incarceration, but says their visits motivated him to change: "I had a real strong desire to have a relationship with my children. When no one else had a standard for me, my children had a standard. To my daughter visiting me I was not [a number], I was Dad."

State budget cuts, however, have reduced visiting days from four a week to two.

Residential programs

The Community Prisoner Mother Program (CPMP), a residential program for minimum-security women prisoners with children under six, also helps nurture the parent-child bond. In these programs, women live with their children and receive parenting and life skills classes.

Boler, whose son is now four, says the (CPMP) helped her get him back. Child Protective Services, she says, "is really for these places as long as they see you're working on yourself." Because of living with her son, she adds, "I have a positive outlook for the future, whereas I didn't when I was in prison."

Tammy Rossignon manages children's programs at Project Pride, which houses CPMP participants in Oakland. In these programs, she says, "the primary benefit for the mothers is they're able to be with their kids and experience healthy, clean, and sober interaction."

But fewer than 75 women now participate in CPMP. Budget cuts have closed four of the seven original locations, and Pierson says many eligible women aren't informed about the program.

Re-entry

Advocates say more housing, employment, and reunification services are needed to help ex-prisoners reconnect with and care for their children. There's a real danger of return to jail, says Rossingnon, "if they have no place to go."

Mary Van Der Horst, mother of three and a recovering addict, says she's turned her life around with the help of Second Chance, a San Francisco City College program for ex-offenders. The program provides educational, housing and transportation assistance.

Rebuilding a relationship with your children is not easy, Van Der Horst adds: "Most kids are bitter and resentful. [But] if your kids see you getting up every day and going to work, going to school, and know you're going to make dinner for them every day, that's letting them see that you're really committed to changing your life."

Children of Incarcerated Parents Bill of Rights

The San Francisco Partnership for Incarcerated Parents has created a bill of rights and is pushing for laws to implement it. Some examples:

Make visits easier and more frequent

  • Increase visiting days.
  • Create child-centered visiting rooms.

Turn arrest and incarceration into opportunities for family preservation

  • Increase residential facilities where mothers can live with their children.
  • Focus on rehabilitation for non-violent offenders.

Address social and psychological needs of children

  • Train children's service providers to recognize and address the needs of children of prisoners.

Develop child-centered policies for children of prisoners

  • Consider proximity to family members when making foster care placements or prison assignments.
  • Re-examine rigid adoption timelines before terminating parental rights.

The complete, detailed bill of rights, with examples and stories of prisoners' families, is available online at http://www.cwla.org/articles/cv0409cop.htm.
For a free hard copy in English or Spanish, call
209-938-0727. (Orders for more than 10
are charged for postage.)

Resources

Extra resources from the Children’s Advocate bulletin (updated 10-07)

  • Keeping Children Safe When Parents Are Arrested, from the California Research Bureau, discusses efforts by four California communities to develop a "coordinated response" between child welfare services and law enforcement when parents are arrested.
  • My Mommy's Castle is a booklet written for children by an incarcerated mom in Maine, explaining what happens when a parent goes to prison. Available from the Family Violence Project, (207) 623-8637
  • America's Cradle to Prison Pipeline, from the Children's Defense Fund, finds that thousands of poor children and youth of color will be imprisoned each year. Includes case studies, promising approaches, state data, and policy recommendations.

To stay informed about new and upcoming Children’s Advocate articles, related resources, and advocacy opportunities, sign up for our Children’s Advocate bulletin

Use our articles

Use the Children's Advocate in your work! Feel free to reprint these articles, as handouts or in your own publication – just credit us and be sure to send us a copy.

From January-February 2005 Issue

Related topics: Children of prisoners, Parents and Families

Other: Contact us | Give us your feedback | How to use this article | Subscribe