This article originally appeared in the July-August 2001 issue of the Children's Advocate, published by Action Alliance for Children.

Welcoming grandparents

For grandparents raising grandchildren, schools and child care centers can provide understanding and support

By Jean Tepperman

Glendora Patterson has raised her granddaughter, now eight years old, from the age of seven months. When she enrolled her granddaughter in a high-quality child care center, Association of Children's Services (ACOS) in Oakland, "it didn't meet my needs as a grandmother raising my grandchild," says Patterson. Now she's working at ACOS, running a grandparent support program called Again.

How can schools and child care centers work better with grandparents raising grandchildren? First, says Patterson, they should recognize that grandparents have a different "mindset" from young parents.

"Most of us are torn apart by the breakdown in our family" -- their own sons' or daughters' death, incarceration, drug addiction, or whatever prevents them from raising the children themselves. The grandparents are likely to receive the children in a crisis. "We may not have enough money or enough room, and because we're older we often have health and transportation issues," Patterson points out.

Again offers scholarships to pay the ACOS fees for several children living with grandparents. It provides "materials specific to relatives raising children," and runs a monthly support group. "We offer dinner and child care; we always have a speaker and sharing time," Patterson says.

Raising children, she points out, is very different today from 30 years ago, when "we didn't have to deal with the drug scene -- and you knew your neighbors." And ideas have changed. "We have different discipline expectations. We've learned a lot about what children need and how children develop. Grandparents need and want to be brought up to speed," she adds, without being made to feel they're "deficient."

Patterson and others working with grandparents offer tips for schools and child care centers.

Recognize family diversity. Address letters to "families," not "parents." Choose books and posters that reflect a variety of families including grandparents raising grandchildren. Show That's a Family, a children's film on family diversity. Celebrate Grandparent's Day the second Sunday in September. Encourage children to talk about their own families by showing interest and acceptance.

Help with enrollment requirements. Kin caregivers may lack birth certificates or immunization records. Schools and child care centers can relax some requirements or help grandparents get necessary records.

Give children extra support and understanding without "labelling" them, says Patterson. When children move to their grandparents' homes, they may be dealing with the problems that separated them from their parents plus adjusting to a new home.

Help educate grandparents on issues and resources -- how special education works, what new research shows about child development, how to find resources from legal help to health care to summer camps. Invite speakers. Provide information geared to grandparents. Organize a "resource night" where kin caregivers bring information to share.

Help grandparents organize peer-support groups. Melinda Chmel, who runs the kinship caregiver program at Pittsburg Pre-School and Community Council, says this can be as simple as helping grandparents find each other and providing a place to meet.

Arrange family outings on weekends, to make it easier for grandparents to share activities with children.

Seek funding to hire a staff person to create a range of support programs for families. "We started as a one-room child care center and grew to over 30 programs because we developed programs to meet the families' needs," says Chmel. 

Other Sources

• Lenora Poe, Grandparents as Parents
• Grandparents as Parents: A Primer for Schools, by Dianne Rothenberg.

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